I don't believe in titles.

It's been quite a while since I wrote in this blog. I also haven't been writing in an actual journal either. What could you call that? Instead of weblog, (blog), could you call it alog (actualog)? Irrelevant.

I suppose it's been a while because I liked writing posts about funny Asian things I wasn't used to. But, the longer I'm here, the more I get used to funny Asian things. Or perhaps, the longer I'm here, the more I get used to anything happening without calling it weird, or culture-shock to be more p.c.

But one interesting thing I've noticed lately is that my Christmas spirit is directly in relation to the amount of Christmas propaganda spewed by big businesses. Sometimes I can be a bit of a Scrooge at home. Usually, Christmas makes me think of all the people that I'm missing at the holidays, who I will never be able to share another Christmas with. And this makes me sad; Couple that with hours of Christmas shopping in a crowded mall accompanied by Jessica Simpson's heinous version of "O Holy Night," seemingly on repeat, turns any half-hearted Ebeneezer into a full (blue)blooded humbugger of a Scrooge in two seconds flat. Or at least that's what I always said.

Here in South Korea only about 30% of the population is Christian, so far fewer people celebrate Christmas here than in America. And since big businesses don't have an advantage for slapping a Christmas tree and stocking on every price tag, it's rarely done. Though Christmas carols are played EVERYWHERE. But not "newly released" carols (which are usually crap), or the worst crime committed against Christmas carols: Christmas Shoes. It's mostly Josh Groban, and N'Sync. Oddly enough (and yes I admit it), two groups I rather enjoy.

But what I realized most was that being halfway around the world from everyone you love makes you thankful for the people you do have, instead of focusing on the people you can't have. Every Christmas I've taken my family for granted. I always think, "This holiday would be so much better with (insert family or friend here)." Instead of saying, "Christmas is great because (insert name of one of many loved people in my life." But I'm saying that now. I thank God for my mother, who is so strong and has been such a pillar in my life. I thank Him for my Aunt Barb - for her humor, and her incredible listening skills; for John, who makes me laugh more than anyone else; and for Mare who understands me like no one else.

I shouldn't be surprised by this turn of events. This kind of thing usually happens to me. I leave a place to find my love and my heart, and realize my love and my heart have been in the same place all along. But doing this has been a great experience and adventure, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, even if it means being away from my family for this holiday.

This mindset is also helped by having a best friend and lover here. Without that person, I might not feel this way at Christmastime at all, and I might be even more bitter than I usually am (if that's possible). So after I pray for my family by blood, and my family by choice, I'm sending out a prayer for all foreigners, expats, and strangers in their strange land that they can find someone to share Christmas with, and to know they're not alone. I'm thinking of you.