WETTEST:
So I was walking around Seoul the first day I got there and didn't have training. I checked the weather report before I left and it said thunderstorms, but it said thunderstorms for every day that week so I thought...how bad could it be? Gloom and Doom Debbie was jsut writing that for the report, even though it is monsoon season. Anyway, I walked around all day and though I experienced a few intermitten showers, everything was very nice. I got the on the Metro to go back to my hotel, and got off at Gangnam Station. As I got near the exit to the street, I heard an insane pounding. First thought: North Korea is very angry. Actuality: Monsoon. Ok, not a real monsoon, but it sure as hell looked like one. I've only seen rain like that twice - and once was on tv during a hurricane.I waited it out..5 minutes...10 minutes...nope, not letting up. So I figured I would make a run for it. My hotel was one long block and two short blocks away, how bad could it be? I realized how bad it could be halfway home when I remembered I was wearing a white skirt. Yeah, a white skirt. Less than 24 hours in South Korea and I left my dignity at the Gangnam Metro Station. But what could I do? I just kept going. And I got soaked. I mean I had to wring out my underwear, that's how soaked I got. And as I'm walking, I though to myself, "Holy crap...I have never been wetter. I'm like...the wettest. WETTEST! AHHH!" And then I laughed the rest of the way to the hotel; I laughed when I wrung my skirt out under the hotel awning, I laughed when the lady behind the hotel desk asked if I was ok, and I laughed when I got back to my room, and wrung my underwear out. I guess that's what you get for always saying "Wettest!"

COME RAIN OR COME SHINE:
Women also use umbrellas in the sun. At first I thought it was some pretentious Victorian Era entrapment for women...then I went out in the day time. My umbrella was up faster than you could say "pretentious Victorian Era entrapment."

DAY BADET:
So remember how I made fun of my Starship Enterprise toilet? I have a confession to make: I used it, and I loved it. I thought the stream was a little too strong, if you know what I mean, but I got used to using a badet...it was very refreshing. And I was super sad when I got to my apartment in Gwangju and I had a regular toilet, so I couldn't sit on it and say "Captain's Log: Stardate..."

CONFUCIOUS:
Here's one thing you should know if you come to South Korea: old people will cut in front of you every chance they get. And here's something else you should know: you have to let them. Apparently this is a Confucious society so respect for elders is a huge thing, but you know what I think? They do it because they're old. Old people in America do it, don't blame it on Confucious. And I would like to say that, when an old lady cuts in front of me my only solace is thinking, "Yeah well you're going to die soon." But that's not even true! I have seen more lively and fortuitous old people here than young. Here's what I think Confucious Say: You live to be 1,000 years, torment as many young people as possible.

GWANGJU:
I haven't been here long, and I haven't gotten to see a lot of the city yet because I'm working and it's hot so I can't go anywhere when the sun is out. But here's something I can tell you based on the 20 blocks I do walk: This entire city smells like ass. I'm talking Marching Band Locker Room ass. And you know how sometimes you can be into a funky smell? Don't lie and say that's never happened, because it does to everyone. Well this smell is so funky I nearly vommed on my way to work. That's probably why Asian people wear those face masks.
WOULD YOU LIKE A MEDIUM, OR A MEDIUM?:
There are a decent amount of chain establishments here from America, my personal favorite is Dunkin Donuts: the only place that sells iced coffee. I went in one day, and I was extra thirsty, so I asked for a medium. The woman behind the counter said they only have small or large, so I say large thinking I'm going to get like...24 delicdious ounces of iced coffee. Nope. I got 16. 16 ounces is a large. I know we like everything bigger in America, but what if someone really really likes iced coffee? I have not found a way to reconcile this yet.

LETTER TO A FRIEND:
Dear Soju,I know that you only have half as much alcohol in you as vodka, but I think you should stop telling people that. And stop selling 500 mil. bottles of yourself because then people like me drink a whole bottle themselves at happy hour, thinking it won't be so bad...and somehow end up at a Night Market watching effeminate men dance, and don't get home until 12:30, and still have to prep for my mock evaluation the next day. Just something to consider.
Love,
Mary Rose

Along with all the hilarious things that happen to me, here's what's kind of going on. I had my training in Seoul, and now I'm in my branch city, Gwangju. It's about 4 hours Southeast of Seoul. I think it's about as big as Philly, maybe a little smaller, but I don't really know since I haven't walked around yet. My apartment is empty. There's a refrigerator, a washing machine, a bed, and a tv, and don't worry - air conditioning, but that's it. So now I'm watching OCN (the only English network...but only English sometimes), on my hardwood floor. I also don't have a closet, so I'm still living out of suit cases. But I have no idea where or how to buy used furniture, so I'm kind of up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick. I'm going to attempt to remedy this situation this weekend, and I'm sure it will also be hilarious.

Here's the first thing I learned about teaching: you want 5 minutes to youself? Fat chance. If it's not a student, another teacher, my boss, or the stupid printer, it will be something else. I had class from 10-1, and 4:30-10:30 yesterday, and I was left alone for 2 minutes when I turned off the lights in my classroom and checked Facebook...until a student came in and put her bag down TWO HOURS EARLY. I'm going to have to learn "Get out." in Korean soon.